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There is no such thing as a perfect birth, but there is a most definitely a positive birth.

When we think about childbirth, a range of images and stories may come to mind. Some envision a serene water birth in the comfort of their own home, while others may picture a bustling hospital room filled with medical professionals. The truth is, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to giving birth. Positive birth experiences are as unique as the individuals who go through them. There are so many voices around birth and how people should experience their birth but really what can be a good experience for one could potentially be a traumatic experience for the other.

The Myth of the “Perfect” Birth

In the age of social media and endless birth stories at our fingertips, it’s easy to fall into the trap of believing that there’s a “perfect” way to give birth. We see images of serene mothers calmly bringing their babies into the world, and we might think, “That’s what a positive birth looks like.” However, the reality is far more complex and diverse.

A positive birth is not defined by a particular location, method, or set of circumstances. It’s about the birthing person feeling empowered, respected, and supported throughout the process. Whether you choose a home birth, a hospital birth, a water birth, a medicated birth, or a cesarean section, your birth can be positive if it aligns with your values, desires, and unique circumstances.

The Myth of the “Horrendous” Birth.

People love to talk about their traumatic birth experiences, “I would rather give birth instead of…” is used a lot. People do this because it is cathartic and healing for them to talk about. This, however, is not helpful when you are about to give birth. Their trauma becomes your trauma, as with media representations of birth (just see any episode of Grey’s anatomy) and it is always this great emergency.

The reality of it is that true emergencies on labour ward are not nearly as common as it is made out, that is coming from a woman that had an “emergency c-section”. Please do not for one second think I am minimising how people feel about their own births or any trauma’s they have gone through. My watch out when it comes to horrendous birth stories is that it is steeped in an extremely personal and visceral feelings and details which most likely wont reflect your experience. (not with me as your hypnobirthing guru 😜)

So what do you do about counteracting these two very dangerous notations of birth. Well I have a few tips.

  1. Antenatal care and knowledge. Yes, I absolutely would love to take you on a hypnobirthing experience, it is something I a very passionate about. The reality is that hypnobirthing isn’t for everyone. And that is fine, I promise no judgement. Antenatal care and knowledge is so key for birth. Knowing what you are wanting out of your experience and how you will want to respond if the birth is not going the way you initially intended it to will make such a difference. This I promise and it is from my experience.

  2. Get your birth partner involved with some of the decision and plan making. It is their birth too. Yes you are the star of the show but they want to support to.

  3. Make a plan for a C-section. Even if this is something that you do not want, if you plan for it and never use, what harm has that done? But if you do need to use it, then it is there ready to go if needed and with your more rational brain there.

Ultimately, a positive birth is about choice and empowerment. It’s about making informed decisions that resonate with your values and understanding that those choices can lead to a beautiful and meaningful birth experience. Positive births can happen in various ways and under diverse circumstances. It’s about what’s personal to you and what aligns with your vision of bringing your child into the world.

In the end, a positive birth doesn’t have to look like one type of birth. It’s not defined by the method, location, or specific circumstances, but rather by the sense of empowerment, respect, and support you feel throughout the process. Embrace the uniqueness of your own journey, create a personalised birth plan, assemble a supportive care team, and know that your positive birth experience is a reflection of your choices and what feels right for you. It is absolutely no one’s business but your own how you birth your baby! Your birth story is as individual as you are, and it is beautiful in its own way.

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